Freshman Farewell….
Reality is still settling in..
It’s crazy to think that less than a year ago my first reason to breath walked across the stage to accept her High School Diploma. The build up to that moment was less dramatic than I thought it would be and I’m sure it had everything to do with how Kahlia navigated the morning of #graduation. As I watched her effortlessly apply her makeup I was reminded that with God all things are #possible. I remember starting to cry and she immediately told me, “It’s ok Mom, it’s too early, you’re going to be okay.”
Listen being 21 years old and trying to unpack the phrase, “You’re pregnant,” is a lot to handle especially when I felt as if I’d visualized what I thought my life should look like. The second part to unpack was the reality that I would do #motherhood alone. The fear of the unknown halted me in my steps the day I found out I was blessed with the title of #Mom. Unaware and afraid of all of the responsibilities that would come with this new adventure. The goal wasn’t to be perfect however, I was determined to never #quit. Looking back on everything I can firmly tell myself, “Job Well Done.” Kahlia has officially finished her first year at The North Carolina Agriculture and Technical State University.
Now that I’ve got the preface out of the way let me just tell you this first year of college was one for the books! I wrestled with the art of giving Kahlia room to breath, space to stretch/grow and even bump her head along the way. Despite that last thought bringing about some anguish I knew she would need her own “personal,” lessons/experiences. Things hit differently when you walk away with your own experiences rather than living based on the stories that your parents have shared. Oddly, I’m not sure what the significance of that is however, it’s clearly a thing! When she initially shared her intentions that she would major in Biology, I immediately began to think of people within my network that could offer insight because English is my thing! I knew Math would be a huge part of her studies and heck I seriously relied on my peers throughout college when it came to Math. The great news is with perseverance, study sessions, office hours, late nights in the library and leaning on our team of supporters she excelled academically with A’s and B’s while completing 102 hours of community service. Additionally, she is an active member Beta Beta Beta National Biological Honor Society, Women In Science & Technology, Mentoring for H.E.R, 100 Collegiate Women and NNACP.
As I reflect on Kahlia’s first year of college, I thought I would have more anxiety than I did but often times I reminded myself that I’ve asked God to continuously protect my children therefore, that should be sufficient. I recall my first year at Marymount College, in Tarrytown, New York, I made some great friends, experienced a lot of “first,” and even met a bully that altered my outlook on college for a bit. I’m impressed with how much she’s grown because prior to leaving for college she was relatively closed off and didn’t extend herself often. During the course of her freshman year I watched her meet some acquaintances, remove potential toxicity and form some solid friendships that have evolved into family and I love that for her. #AGGIEPRIDE
If you’re a parent who has a child that is about to graduate from High School and begin their college journey take a deep breath and remember at one point you were 17 or 18 years old feeling as if you had life figured out. In reality you needed your parents. As our children grow and mature it isn’t that they need us any less they want to feel empowered to make decision. They want to feel they are a capable of establishing boundaries where needed while personally challenging themselves to succeed.
Here are a few Gentle Reminders:
Slow deep breaths will be your saving grace.
Don’t snap! Listen to understand rather than rushing to respond.
Affirm them often because its in the quiet times that they need it most.
Remind them to live a limitless life and take up space because they deserve that.
You’ve given them everything that they need to do great things so trust that you’ve done a great job and trust God to can handle the rest.
I promise as scary as it may seem, you’ve got this and when in doubt feel free to send me a message and I can offer insight and give you a reason to smile.
Signing Off…
Tight Hugs,
Paulette A. Edwards