Where did the time go?
First, let’s go ahead and start here…..
It feels like I’ve been preparing myself since Aug 2021 however, I still feel unprepared for this next chapter of parenthood. #CollegeParent I still can’t believe how swiftly these past 9 months have flown by however, it’s the same feeling I had laying in the hospital bed in labor and delivery as I heard Dr. Tolbert say, “It’s almost over one more push.”
As I heard your first cry I knew my life would forever be changed however, I didn’t totally understand how much of an impact you would have on me. I know as parents we get caught up thinking about how our thoughts and decision will impact our children but, have you ever thought about it the other way around? How are teenagers feeling about the next big step in their lives? #JourneyToCollege is a real thing and it brings about so many different emotions and responsibilities. I’m sure just as I have questions as a parent, Kahlia has her own set of question and expectations about College and all that it will be. I remember two years ago when we began to really look at College the world as we knew it had totally shifted due to COVID19 however, I wanted to put some reality with Kahlia’s ideas.
Early on Kahlia knew she wanted to attend a Historically Black College and University however, she hadn’t narrowed down the search. There were some qualifications that she required which was a great Biology program and a phenomenal dance program. Now, from a students prospective that’s great because she needed to have a starting point however, it was my responsibility to shine a light on other areas. Here are a few things that I urged her to look into therefore we didn’t go into this process blindly.
Cost: Tuition-In-State vs Out-Of-State
Programs: Degree of Choice
Personal Growth: Diversity
Creating 3 areas of focus made it easier because it would encompass several different areas. Ideally this process made it easier to compare and contrast therefore, she could narrow down her search. I’m going to be totally honest here, most of Kahlia’s selections were out of state and I was nervous but I needed to be selfless and remember this next journey in her life wasn’t about me. I needed to wrap my head around the fact that I had given her the tools that she would need to make the best decision for her. See the thing about “Parenthood,” it doesn’t come with a manual, there will be pain points, there will be moments of excitement, moments of doubt and if we’re honest moments where we feel we could have done better as a parent. I normally wrap it all up in a bow and watch as my children evolve into who they are called to be. I’m reminded that every phase of the journey is worth it.
As time went one Kahlia did the work to build out her #JourneyToCollege workbook. It was funny seeing her facial expression when it was time to fill in the cost per college, she was literally speechless. In the months to follow we discussed her workbook and planned college tours. In that moment it still felt as if I had a lot of time to spend with her however, that quickly changed the morning of our first #CollegeTour. I could see the excitement oozing out of her pours. Every visit created a different experience for her while giving her a better prospective of where she could actually see herself.
As time went on Senior Year was fully underway and I remember reminding her to do your very best and don’t forget to give yourself grace. She was in her second year of dual enrollment at Central Piedmont Community College and she had participated in the Summer STEM Program so she had an idea of what college class would be like. Prior to that she attend Debbie Allen Summer Dance Intensive in California so she had experienced the “freedom,” of living on a college campus and ordering whatever she wanted via Uber Eats, yes that was an entire thing. So in a sense I felt that we were more prepared than not.
Now even with these experiences I was still a tad bit nervous because regardless if we want to admit it or not, it’s something about your child leaving home. I know how “interesting,” it can be when you go off to college and you’re trying to find your way. It seems like there has been an uptick in media and social media influence since I attended college in 2001. The focus on Mental Health has shifted and even though we aren’t where we need to be as a community we are making strides to be more vocal. Mental Health can’t be considered taboo. We talk about it often at home because it matters! How you feel internally and how you’re internalizing experiences depicts how you show up daily.
I’ve spent so much time within the last week reading articles about teens that have made the decision to end their lives and if I’m totally honest, that’s a #RealFear of mine. I want to be sure that I’m reachable where Kahlia will feel safe to talk to me and know that I’m her safe space. It’s hard managing mental health at 38 years old, so I can only imagine how challenging it can be at 17 years old. So as we embark on this next journey I ask that you guys keep us in your prayers, send me kleenex tissue, fresh flowers and check up on me often.
As you can see, Kahlia has decided to attend The Illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University in #Fall22, majoring in Biology and minoring in Dance. I’m extremely excited for her and I’m looking forward watching the personal growth she will experience over the next 4 years. To say I’m proud is an understatement! I appreciate our village!